Wipe Those Tears, My Love
by condesce
Summary: Alfred recalls his favourite moments with Arthur, but things are not as they should be. / USUK


Arthur, please don't cry. It hurts to see you cry. You shouldn't be allowed to do that. It makes your pretty eyes all blood shot and puffy, and to be honest it's not a good look for you.

I know it's hard, but I know you'll pull through. You're a strong person and I know you'll be all right. You just have to keep your head up and get through life one step at a time, 'kay?

You always told me that life was one big obstacle and it would do all it could to bring us down. Well, I think we proved it wrong because I don't remember one time where I didn't smile when I was with you... okay, there might have been that one time where I was sick for three days because of that God awful cake you decided to bake one night, but that's beside the point and you know what I mean, right Arthur?

There are a lot of fond memories I am blessed with, Arthur, and of course many of them are with you. There was that one time where we went to the zoo together and I was so excited that I just couldn't contain myself. You rolled your eyes and said I was an embarrassment but I could see the amusement in your eyes and that slight smile which told me you didn't mean it. It made my heart soar... seeing you smile even though it wasn't a very big one. I love your smile, no matter how big it may be.

There was that one time where we decided to go on a road trip (well, I forced you but that's not the point!), and we... uh, got lost. Hey, I know you blamed me and I swear it wasn't my fault! I've told you a million times that I was sorry for getting us stranded in the middle of nowhere! Anyway, I remember us sitting in the car in silence for at least half an hour. You said later that it was a record for me, and I'll have you know I can be quiet for a very long time. We both just kinda sat there then we glanced at each other at the same time. Then we both laughed. You were pissed, and I could tell, but you laughed anyway. You said it was typical of me to get us lost in the middle of 'bloody' nowhere, but because I was the hero I told you I would get us un-lost! And I did, didn't I? I was totally the hero and you know it! You never admitted it, but I knew you were thinking it.

Do you remember when I asked you out? Of course you do... you said it was your fondest memory. It was raining that day and you weren't smiling. I wanted to make you happy, and I decided then was the right time to ask you. See, I wanted to ask you for a long time but I never had the courage. I'd go to ask you and my voice wouldn't work. I know it sounds stupid but you got the hero flustered! No one has ever done that, feel privileged!

But anyway, it was raining and I wanted to see you smile. And that smile I received when you said yes made all the waiting worthwhile.

And I'm sure you remembered the first time we kissed. You were nervous about kissing me straight away and I noticed how you'd always avoided doing so. I didn't mind; holding your hand was good enough for me. But when you finally kissed me I felt as though time had stopped. I know it sounds cheesy and completely cliché, but it's true. The butterflies I felt when holding your hand exploded into a thousand more and you know I've never been good with words but that's the best I can do with description. Seriously Arthur, you have no idea how that made me feel. It was incredible.

Our first date was one of my favourite memories. It was a typical first date atmosphere; I took you to a restaurant then we went to see a movie. You snapped at me for throwing popcorn at the old guy in front of us, and you turned bright red when he glanced around at us and blamed you. I couldn't stop laughing because your expression was literally priceless. It was one of the best times I'd had for a long while and for that I thank you. I've told you how much I loved that night but I just wanted to say it again.

...I remember the night I told you I loved you. It was our one year anniversary and I wanted to do something special but we were both broke, as usual. So we ended up having a pizza delivered and a movie, remember? You said you didn't mind but I saw the disappointment flash in your eyes for a moment or two. I've never felt so guilty. But when we cuddled on the couch, I realised this was where I wanted to be, not at some fancy restaurant. As long as I was with you, that's all that mattered, and I know you felt the same way too.

I told you I loved you after the movie had ended. I remember the look in your eyes after I said it. You looked shocked and relieved then you said it back. You actually said it back. I couldn't believe it. I really expected you to ask if it was some kind of joke and if I was just fucking with your head but you believed me and returned my love.

That night was also the first night we had sex. You told me you didn't want to just fuck anyone, and you wanted to make sure that I was the 'one'. You realised you were right and we did it. And I have to admit it was the best night of my life. You said it to me over and over, remember? You told me you loved me over and over again and I swear I felt like I wanted to fly. Seriously, Arthur... it was the best moment of my life and I will never ever forget it.

Then things started to get bad, didn't they Arthur. We started to argue more and more until we yelled at each other so much I thought my throat was going to tear. I didn't like it one bit, and when you weren't there I cried my heart out. I just wanted to hold you again and tell you I loved you over and over just like you did that night. We promised each other we'd be together forever, and that's what you reminded me off when you left that day. You said 'I thought we were forever, Alfred. I thought you loved me.' That hurt more than anything, Artie, because I truly thought we were. I thought we were solid and nothing could ever bring us apart, but apparently it could.

We split up that day, and we didn't speak for a month. But remember when I saw you in the town and we just kind of stared at each other? We looked into each other's eyes and without realising it we rushed to each other and hugged each other so tightly I didn't think we'd survive it. I think back to that time now and I could laugh. We even said we were stupid to break up in the first place. It was over something so stupid, and I regret that month that we wasted.

Then I started to get sick. We thought nothing of it, until I collapsed. Do you remember? You never left my side for all those weeks in the hospital. I remember I started to get weaker and weaker but you never once gave up on me. You held my hand and told me everything would be all right, and that I would get better again.

Those final nights were the hardest. I remember being so weak I could barely keep my eyes open. But I did just so I could see you. And you never left me. Not once... apart from bathroom breaks. I am really grateful that I didn't have to go through all that pain alone. I felt so low and I just wanted it all to end but I didn't want to leave you all alone. I am a hero after all.

I look back on our time together and I realise that you have always looked after me. You made sure I was all right, you took care of me. You were there when I needed you the most, and you shared all my fondest memories with me. You made me smile and laugh and when I was sad you were there with a shoulder to cry on. You're not just the love of my life, you're my best friend.

So wipe those tears, my love, because I'm not gone, not really. I'll always be with you and you know it. You'll never be truly rid of me. I was never really a hero when we were together, but now is my chance.

I'm going to look after you Arthur, just like you looked after me.


End file.
